Chinese Medicine

I feel so great right now! Since I started taking the Ritalin in the morning, I can get through the day and even make dinner sometimes.  People ask me often if I'm in remission.  Unfortunately there is no true remission for my kind of cancer.  I will be on chemo the rest of my blessed life.  I have no way of knowing if this honeymoon period will last weeks or months or years.  I had a friend that survived 17 years with stage 4 breast cancer (little quality of life the last 4 or 5 years).  I also have friends who only make it 2 or 3.  That's why I try not to take one day for granted.  I try to complete something every day (usually into the wee hours of the morning!) that gets me closer to completing my Legacy projects.  Right now, I'm working on my 2014 book.  That was one of the toughest years of my life, and I didn't take a lot of pictures.  That was our first full year in Riverton.  That was when my Mom fell and broke her femur.  That is when she had to go into rehab and assisted living.  That is when we sold our parents home.  That is when it got "the ultimate of ugly" amongst most of my siblings.  Dividing her earthly possessions was ... interesting, the method and justification was SO wrong. Enough of that! 2014 will be one of the shorter books.

This isn't me.  I've never had toes
that looked like that!  But this is what it looks like.

I go up to Huntsman every couple of weeks for acupuncture.  I have NO idea how it works, but I come out of there feeling so relaxed and refreshed. I'm a big fan! My acupuncturist is the greatest.  She has a doctorate in Chinese medicine and acupuncture, she knows pretty much everything.  When I come in she will ask me what I want to focus on. Today I told her sleep issues and anxiety about sleep issues.  I usually have needles in the top of my head, my wrists and hands, and my ankles and feet - like the picture.

So we talked for a good long while about what Chinese medicine says about sleep and anxiety.  She said Americans have it so wrong! (My words not hers!)  We rush, rush, rush from here to there, we are glued to our phones or other screens, we try to do everything and don't accomplish much of anything.  We are stressed out to the max, we are short tempered and impatient (again, my words!).  I'm totally paraphrasing.  I told her when she came back in to remove the needles that I lay there during the session thinking about how I wished I had recorded our conversation because it was so profound.

We talked about how great our generation had it as kids.  We went outside all day and played in the fields and with the neighbor kids.  My family had a "party line" so to make a phone call, we had to pick up the receiver to see if someone else was on it.  We had 2 acres of land, a huge vegetable garden, a handful of dogs, an occasional pony and rabbits we raised in the barn.  My dad was going to get rich selling the pelts.  I watched more than my share of rabbits losing their lives in a quick, efficient manner.

The thing that really stuck out to me was she said that in reality, we need only 3 things.  Breath, Food, and Sleep. And if we put equal amounts of effort into each one, we would be much healthier.  She's not talking about the shallow, fast breathing we tend to do naturally.  She's talking about deep, slow breaths to help you relax and focus.  She's talking about healthy food, avoid the junk! She's talking about using the hour before bed for meditation and prayer to clear your mind and help you sleep better.  It's all so logical but it's all so foreign to us!  There were so many other great things she said, but that was my take home.  In other words, I've forgotten everything else.  But it was good.

My heart is breaking tonight for my cousin I mentioned.  She had her PET scan today.  She is shocked, emotional, frightened, just trying to absorb everything.  I hate that other people have to go through what we've been through!  CANCER SUCKS!

Puppies

I haven't updated in a long time, there hasn't been a ton to write about!  I spend my days driving carpool, working in my yard or the one yard I still do through my business, taking care of the dogs (yes, dogs, plural - I'll explain), trudging through dinner duties. I'm at Huntsman often, between infusions, acupuncture, therapy, shots, my group, etc.  My last scan showed no evidence of disease.  That's my 4th scan in a row showing no evidence.  Pretty cool!  But it's bittersweet.  My cousin in Arizona has been messaging me this week because she was just diagnosed with my same disease, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  She is in the terrifying beginning stages, she has a PET scan on Tuesday.  She already has MS and epilepsy.  Honestly, can't a girl catch a break?!

I had chemo today. My 30 minute infusion took an excruciating 3 ½ hours.  My port was plugged again.  They have to be able to put saline in and draw blood out before they can run the poison in through the port.  Sometimes the end will get plugged up with a tiny bit of tissue or whatever.  They inject something called TPA to try to dissolve whatever is blocking it, then you wait a half hour.  Today, it was still plugged after a half hour, so I had to wait another half hour.  While I waited the 2nd half hour, I was texting my friend Belinda in Spokane.  She is an amazing, faithful woman who said she would pray "right now" that it would unclog.  I know her well enough to know that she did pray for me right then, and it worked.  Shortly after that, there was blood coming back.  Belinda, You are Amazing!

Because the port has to be working before they can even order chemo from the pharmacy, I had another long wait for the chemo to even come.  It was such a long day, I came home and crashed while Mat made cream of wheat for dinner. We joked about it being lumpy.  It was home cooking and satisfying.

My niece Jessica asked me a few weeks ago if I would come and talk for their Relief Society activity.  She asked me to talk about Legacy, because that's been a big deal for me.  It's one of the early things I worried so much about - if I had to leave my family prematurely, then what could I do now to make sure future generations know as much as possible about me.

In a nutshell:

• I'm going to write Legacy Essays on topics such as honesty, integrity, work ethic, education, having hope, charity, faith, optimism, the Atonement (what it means to me and what it can mean for you), etc. etc. 
• I started writing my personal history, not chronologically necessarily, but in clumps, things about me that I think my grandkids would want to know.
• scrapbooking has always been important to me.  Prior to 2004, nothing of ours is digital.  I'm taking apart those big, heavy Creative Memories books to digitize, prioritize and simplify what I have.  I'm building books in Shutterfly online.  When it is all digital, that will be one more back-up of precious family memories.
• I'm going to make Legacy videos that I can upload to Family Search, so my people can see me and hear me talking about important things.  I have my first one done already, me and Mat talking about my childhood.
• I want to make digital scrapbooks with stories from some of our ancestors.  I have a friend that works at Family Search.  She showed me a book once she had made for her nieces and nephews. It was a compilation of stories and pictures about their pioneer ancestors.  It was so cool!  Which family members served missions in the early church?  Who was the first to join the church on each line?  Who sailed across the ocean to come to America, where did they settle?  What ship were they on?

I went to a class at RootTech last year.  A guy who works for Family Search said this:

• Share your memories with your kids.  Studies show that knowledge of family stories can help kids better manage stress.  Other studies show that those affected by trauma can find healing through family storytelling. 
• Children who know their family stories have a higher degree of self-confidence.
• Strong family narratives are the number one predictor of a child’s emotional well being.

We were never going to have a dog.  Now we have two!  We got Bentley a few months ago from friends of ours. He is a great dog, has been relatively easy to train, he doesn't run off anymore, he listens/minds sometimes.  :)  He basically fell into our laps!  We weren't expecting on getting a dog, not a big one!

I learned about the Havanese breed years ago.  The more I researched the more I liked!  Hypoallergenic, low maintenance lap dogs, no shedding, not yappy, etc.  I was pretty much in love.  When I first talking to Mat about it in February, he was shocked - because we weren't doing a dog again!  But we talked about how a little creature might be just the thing the kids need, to have a little creature to love and help them through what could be coming.  This week, this little Havanese fell into our laps.  She's a little older as far as puppies go, 15 to 16 weeks, so she's a little unsure about where to do her business (her birth home had a dog door, we don't have a dog door) and she had 10 other little friends to play and sleep with.  So sleeping by herself, in a kennel has been a transition. Reading her cues about potty is hard for us.  So many times we've taken her out because it seemed like it was time, she'll do nothing outside and come back in and do it in our bedroom.  So there are some quirky things about her, but she is so sweet and loves everyone.  She's doing good with recognizing her name (Pyper).  And Bentley is adjusting, slowly.  They'll be chums soon!  He's pretty funny about making sure HE gets more love and affection than SHE does.  We're doing our best, we don't want him to feel like he's been replaced.  It's an adventure, I tell ya!  but I don't regret it one bit. 

German Mission Reunion

...  Thousands ...

I had the most amazing opportunity tonight.  A few weeks ago, my German friend Karin told me about a meeting for all missionaries who served in Germany at any time.  Elder Bednar would be the speaker.  At the time she told me, it was 2 or 3 weeks in the future, and I determined to just see what was going on when the time came.  The nail in that coffin was I didn't put it in my calendar.  When I heard from Wanda that she was coming from Tridell, we arranged to go together and meet up with Karin and Daryl there.

Also known as Hark, All Ye Nations

What I wasn't anticipating was one of the most profound spiritual feasts I've had in a long time.  I was so grateful I was there!  My friend Karin went straight from work and was able to get seats in the center section on the 5th row.  It was at the institute on the West Jordan campus.

The room was filled with electricity, everyone there was in some way connected to preaching the Gospel in the land I love so much, and I'm surrounded by literally thousands of people that felt the same way I did.  There were 2 chapels and two full sized gyms filled to more than capacity, as people stood around the edges the entire meeting as well.

Elder Bednar gave such a great talk, which I'll sum up in a few major points.  He talked about all the changes that have happened, the "new" policies, the witness thing, ministering, missionaries being able to call home once a week, etc.  People around here talk about how so much has changed in recent months.  He assured us that the things that have happened have been in the works for decades.  "Line upon line, precept upon precept".  And guess what?  These changes weren't put into place for Utah.  They were put into place because we are a worldwide church, and the needs of the members in Africa aren't the same as they are here.

One example.  He said that the average lifespan of an adult male in Africa is 44 years.  When the father of the house dies, it falls on the oldest son to take over the responsibilities of providing for the family.  If a young man goes on a mission, who takes care of he family?  Those sons need to communicate and know that their families are cared for.  Now, I've grossly oversimplified his story and probably didn't do it justice.  The witness policy changed for members living far outside the epicenter of our church.  It wasn't for us, guys!

Another example.  Ministering isn't a new concept.  It's just a higher and holier way of doing what we were already doing by being visiting or home teachers.  It's more about service and less about checking off a box every month.  By praying about the people around us, we'll know through the Spirit how we can best meet the needs of those in our circle of influence.

My people! Gretchen, Michelle, Wanda and Sheri.
Karin got away before we took the picture.

The other profound thing he talked about was this.  He talked about D / C 80 where Stephen Burnett was called on a mission.  Who's that?  The Lord said, "Wherefore, go ye and preach my gospel, whether to the north or to the south, to the east or to the west, it mattereth not, for ye cannot go amiss."  It didn't matter where he went to serve his mission because he would find people that needed the gospel wherever he went.  I think we do a great job of complicating things.  Preparing our homes and families for His return is a matter of being good, keeping our covenants, and ... another thing I can't think of right now but I'll add it later.  I came home so uplifted.  And I was so grateful to be able to hang out with a couple thousand friends who share my love for the country and people of Germany. The work is progressing, lives are changing, miracles are happening because of the small army of young and old missionaries that have been and are now there.


I have chemo in the morning morning and will give an update on my life tomorrow.
Preview: itching 😩