What cancer cannot do . . .

Cancer is so limited...it cannot cripple love, it cannot shatter hope, it cannot corrode faith, it cannot destroy peace, it cannot kill friendship, it cannot suppress memories, it cannot silence courage, it cannot invade the soul, it cannot steal eternal life, it cannot conquer the spirit.

Thanks to my friend Denys for sharing this with me!  I'm feeling pretty good today, other than really tired and I can feel the body aches coming on.  It's freaking me out a little bit.  I'm so used to feeling awful at this point.  The first treatment (in this case, the change of drugs) is always a bit scary because I just don't know what to expect.  Let's hope it continues like it is.  Thanks to my sister Kari who came to help today.  I took an astonishingly long nap while she was here--3 hours!  She fed the kids and took care of business and I appreciate it.  I went to the gym tonight with my sister Mel.  I did 4 miles on the treadmill and feel good to be keeping up my routine as much as I can.  Mat is off for spring break until Tuesday.  Maybe we'll get the garage cleaned out so we can get a car in there again?  Maybe we'll do some fun stuff with the kids?  I'm sure we'll run out of time before we run out of projects.  : )

I am feeling unusually good for a treatment day.  They had me take 5 steroid pills last night before bed and five more this morning.  Then they pumped in more steroid before I got the Taxol.  I had a funny experience last night.  I was a little uptight about taking the pills before bed.  The nurse said that if I took them too early, they would rev me up and keep me awake all night.  Like I need that!  I decided to take my Ambien (the most awesome sleeping pill ever invented) about 11:30, then wait 20-30 minutes to eat a little cereal so I could take the steroid.  At 4:00 this morning, I suddenly woke up in a panic because I didn't remember taking my steroid pills before I fell asleep.  I was worried that would impact the treatment, but decided after a long while that the nurse would know what to do.  Surely I am not the only that has forgotten all of my pills!  I was in and out of sleep for the rest of the night.  When the sun came up and my room was light enough to see, I saw a bowl and a spoon on the floor that had cereal residue in it.  Then I found my pill bottle and discovered 5 pills were missing.  I must have, in a zombie state, done those things.  I have no recollection of it!  Hilarious!

Mat's parents came today to help with the kids.  They willingly come and spend the whole day, cleaning everything in sight and doing laundry.  It is such a help to us.  We are so grateful for their love and support!  I've been basking in the "fun" of the party last night.  What a great time to be surrounded by so many people that have given so much to us.  I've heard from a few others today that couldn't come for one reason or another.  We feel your love and and can't thank you enough for all you have done for us.  We'll do this again after I do my last treatment, which will by MAY 17th!!!!!  I can't wait!

Party!

I/we had so much fun tonight!  I don't know how many people came, but a lot did.  The house was pretty full for a while!  And the weather was awesome so the kids could go outside.  Yeah!  We had friends and family from as far away as South Jordan, Riverside and Henefer come.  Thanks for making the effort!  It was so fun to have so many of you that have loved and supported us through cancer here with us tonight.  I don't know how to throw a party, but this one turned out perfect.  I love how "potlucks" always work out!  We had great food.  : ) 

I go in for my 5th treatment tomorrow.  My cold still has a firm grip, so I hope they don't turn me away and have me recuperate for another week.  I am really looking forward to putting this part of my life behind me, and I don't want to be delayed.  I am nervous about this one because some people have terrible allergic reactions (i.e. turn red all over and stop breathing) when it is infused.  We are praying that everything goes well.  My nurse told me that the vast majority of people say that Taxol is easier than what I just did for two months.  So, I'm planning on it.  : )   I'll let you all know how it goes in a day or two.  Love to you all!

Yesterday I got to go to dinner with a great group of friends from the Young Survivor Sisters support group that I am in, a group for breast cancer survivors in their 20's, 30's, and 40's.  It is always great to get together and to feel the strength and comradery from people who know exactly what you are going through.  We went to Macaroni Grill, so the food was great, the people are awesome and I had a great time!  Thanks to all of you!!!

This has been tough this week.  This is supposed to be my "good" week, but my mouth sores have been horrendous and my cough, congestion and sore throat are sticking around.  Wednesday and Thursday I couldn't eat anything that wouldn't go through a straw.  Feeling so awful, I was quite overwhelmed a couple of nights ago.  Sometimes I forget that praying for healing isn't the only answer.  As I cried and talked to Mat, the scripture that touched me deeply just after my diagnosis came to mind.

And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your shoulders, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

And it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon [Kim] were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen [her] that [she] could bear [her] burdens with ease, and [she] did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.     -  Mosiah 24:14-15

Sometimes I forget that it's not about having the hard stuff removed from my life so it can be easier.  It's about trusting and relying on Heavenly Father to carry me and help me through the hard stuff.  Thanks to Esther and Diana for "lightening my burden" and bringing me over protein drinks and snack pudding, and Alli for bringing us dinner last night.  I received a care package from Wanda today.  She was one of my favorite mission companions in Germany and knows very well what will put a smile on my face.  CHOCOLATE!!  A box full of german chocolate and cookies.  As I remember it, we would buy and eat a Milke Sahnecreme everyday.  Good thing we did as much walking as we did!  You have all helped to brighten my week!  Thank you so much!   : )

Don't forget the party on Sunday!  Sunday marks the day that I am "officially" HALF WAY DONE with chemo.  We must party.  : )   If you can, bring an appetizer or dessert to share.  We're starting at 6:00 and will keep going until there are no more people here.  I can't wait!

May I vent?

Lest any of you think that I only have good days, today has been hard.  I managed to pick up the baby's cold (funny how that happens when you're the primary caregiver), so for the last few days I haven't slept well, been coughing my lungs out, blowing my nose so much it is raw, and my throat is killing me.  Today I contemplated going to the doctor to have my throat swabbed.  Then a good friend helped me remember that I haven't had strep throat in the 20 years since I had my tonsils removed.  She saved me a trip and had her daughter bring me the cold medicine she had already, which helped get me through the day.  The other big problem I have is mouth sores.  I had them a couple of weeks ago, did what they told me, they went away.  Now they are back bigger and better than ever.  Every surface in my mouth, including my tongue, is a problem.  I can't eat or brush my teeth without extreme pain.  How's that for a weight loss program?  So, now you all know I am normal.  I have good days.  I have bad days.  And occasionally I complain.  I do have way more good days than bad, thanks to the help from so many.  I am extremely grateful for you!  You all help to keep me sane!  Mid-June seems like it will take at least 7 years to get here.  Will you all keep reminding me it isn't that far away?  Let's not count the days, but maybe the weeks.  There are less than two hands of fingers then.  Thanks.  I'm sorry for the sarcasm and attitude.  I will feel much better when I can eat again.

We went to closing night of Mat's musical tonight.  It was a great show, and while I'm glad it's over, it's obvious it is a great experience for the kids that get to participate.  I saw Mat's principal tonight, he stopped me in the hall.  He's probably the best principal Mat has ever had.  He told me that as he was leaving the parking lot this morning to go to the bank, Mat was pulling in (late--his prep period is first period).  He said I should tell Mat that if he ever needs to help get the kids off to school, or needs to come in late because I need him, it's OK with him.  The school has been absolutely amazing and supportive!  We have received so many gifts, cards and hugs from teachers and staff and even parents.  What incredible people!

Perspective and a Party

I left the musical early last night because I had another fever (103.1) and felt awful.  When I got home, there was a little bag with a handmade hat and a sweet note from Pat.  Her message was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes!  I know we have armies of people out there praying for us, and believe me, we can feel those prayers and the strength that can only come from Heavenly Father.

When the family came home and after the kids were in bed, I asked Mat if he would give me a blessing.  Most of the time I feel strong and optimistic, but other times, not so much.  This weekend has been a struggle.  The musical tends to run our lives this time of year (closing night is tomorrow!!), and my energy level is so low, I struggle to do just the basic things.  Sometimes I feel "guilty" that so much of my stuff falls on Mat.  Last night, as he was tucking me in, I apologized that he has to do so much for me and the family.  "Nope", he says, "We're in this together."  That brought more tears.  He is the most incredible man, I am so lucky to have him.  I've been thinking today about what he said.  An illness (or any other crisis) like this is a family affair.  It affects everyone.  I believe that we are given opportunities to learn things that would not be possible any other way.  My family has been on the receiving end of so many blessings that would not have come if I didn't have cancer.  My perspective and my heart are forever changed.

With that said, let's have a party, shall we?!?  Just a reminder that next Sunday I am officially "half-way" done with chemo and it's aftermath!!!  Naturally, a party is in order.  We will be doing potluck appetizers and desserts.  We'll start at 6 p.m. and party until there is noone else here.  I mean it when I say that EVERYONE is invited!  Don't let "bringing something" stop you from coming.  I'm sure that we will have tons of food, so just come!  I would love to have lots of people here to help us celebrate!  Let me know if you need the address/directions.  : )

Hello Dolly!

The song will be in my head all night.  We just got back from the musical, it was awesome!  I am amazed at what junior high kids can do when they put their minds to it!  I was a little sad that our kids weren't in it.  They were last year (Peter Pan) and it was a great experience for them, but under the circumstances, it was too much for me to drive them to SLC for rehearsals.  We'll shoot for next year.

I had some awesome help today.  Laura came this morning and played and cleaned and helped, then took the kids to the play group in our ward, and then to our monthly luncheon at church.  I met them there and had lunch too.  I'm so grateful she was willing to do that!  It freed me up to run an errand or two without kids, and I was able to go visit a dear friend, Millie, who is now 90 years old and in assisted living.  For years we went out to lunch every month until her health (and my last pregnancy) made outings impossible.  I haven't seen her since before I was diagnosed, so it was great to see how she was doing.  This afternoon, my gardening friend, Jenny came and helped me in the yard.  Anyone that knows me (or Jenny!) knows that plants cannot stay in the same place every year.  I had her help me move around some things that needed to move, including a tree.  We got it all done in less than an hour, she is a trooper and an awesome friend!  After she left, I crashed until it was time to gather the kids and go to the musical.  Thanks Jenny!  I (we) are so blessed to have the people around us that we do.  : )

I am so grateful for the help I get during my treatment weeks.  You can't  imagine what a relief it is to know that there will be people here helping with the little kids during the day.  Sometimes I think I'm being a wimp and should just try to do it on my own.  And then I have a night, like tonight, where Mat is gone all night (Opening night of his musical!!!  The end is in sight!) and I remember why I need help.  I am exhausted!  A huge thanks to Lori who came this morning and took the kids to her house for a while.  I laid down at 9:30 and had a long nap.  When I got up, she had lunch here for all of us and then took the kids to Krista for the afternoon.  Krista had a crazy day today, but took the kids with a smile despite all of that.  Her kids helped to keep them entertained, and I am grateful for all of them!  The sun was shining today, and I heard about tonights rain and snow, so I went out this afternoon to finish cleaning up the back yard (the nap made that possible).  As the wind whipped up and the clouds gathered, I called Esther so see if she could come and help me scoop my piles into bags (hers!), which she gladly did.  Just as we picked up the last pile, the raindrops started to fall and I counted my blessings!  What great friends--getting all of that done totally made my day!

Yesterday was just as good.  Karen came in the morning and helped for a long while.  She is a grandma and always knows just what to do.  I always love it when people bring over books or games because Brooklyn loves having new stuff to do.  Karen brought the "I Spy" books that her grandkids love, and Brooklyn loved them too.  She had a great time "seeking" stuff out.  : )   My neighbor, Melissa, took Brooklyn in the afternoon while I took McKinley to the doctor.  She did a little St. Patrick's Day craft project with her, which she is so proud of.  She had a blast!  She's been playing with it all day today.  : )   The baby has an ear infection (I love it when I take the baby to the doctor and there is a good reason for it!), so we got her medicine.  Hopefully she'll turn the corner with her congestion.

The Utah Cancer Foundation has "Housecleaning Helpers" that come in once a week to clean homes of people going through chemo for no charge.  My lady came yesterday and did another amazing job at cleaning everything from the fronts of my cabinets to the microwave to the toaster and all the floors.  You know how long it has been since I did any of that?!  She is amazing.  One of these days I'm going to watch her more closely and take notes!  I am very grateful for that help every week.

Day 2 and party invite!

Just looking at yesterday's picture makes me sick to my stomach.  I hate how it makes me feel, but I love what it is doing to any free-floating-cancer cells!  I know the cytoxan makes me really sick too, but it looks like water, so it seems less problematic.  Despite all of that, I've felt pretty good today.  I figured out that if I tank up on nausea meds on treatment day, the rest of the week is doable.  I've only taken one pill today, and that makes me happy (considering all the pills I have to take everyday anyway!).

Kari and Diana came today, so we went out so I could run a few random errands today.  I also took a nap and worked in the yard a little bit.  Someone please tell me, WHY did I think I needed so many flowerbeds?  And where can I throw some grass seed this year?  Sheesh.  Over the last week or so, I've managed to get the front yard cut down and cleaned up.  Now I just need to move a few plants, prune the peach trees (I haven't a clue how to do that) and start in the back yard.  Let's pray that the snow/rain will cooperate with my treatment schedule!

I decided to have a "HALF WAY DONE" Party on March 28th, 6:00 at my house.  That is the night before my 5th treatment and officially marks completing half my treatments and their aftermath.  Everyone is welcome to come!  I really mean it!!!  If you are reading this, you are invited!  We're doing potluck appetizers and desserts.  Bring whatever you want, we'll eat whatever shows up.  If you need my address, send me a message and I will get it to you.  I am so excited!  : )

The last of the "red devil"

I had my fourth treatment today.  I have to admit I have been a little uptight about this one.  I know now how I will feel for several days after, and it is no fun!  But the good news is, I never have to see the Doxyrubicin again!!!  I am so happy!

I've taken lots of drugs today that have thrown off my sleep (It's after 12:30 a.m. "tomorrow").  I slept all evening, Mat came in and pulled me out of bed just before midnight, so hopefully I can get to sleep soon.  Mary drove me to my treatment, which I am always grateful for.  I started to feel the effects long before it was done pumping the drugs into my body, I had to close my eyes because they were wiggin' and it was hard to focus on anything.  Then my chemo brain took over and I left the neupogen shots on the counter when we left, we had to drive clear back to get them.  ARGH!  Sorry Mary!  Thanks for being flexible!  Natasha and Annaleigh came this afternoon and took over like troopers.  I slept most of the afternoon, but they took right over with the care of the baby and the laundry.  McKinley is sick, so she isn't exactly easy to handle right now.  She has a bad cold, a little bit of fever, her nose runs constantly and coughs some.  So, thanks for willingly dealing with that too!

Four down!  Four to go!

I'm good!

We've had calls to see how I'm doing because I haven't posted in a few days.  It's heart-warming to know that people are thinking of us and concerned for how we are doing.  I've had a really good week despite having several fevers and more mouth sores.  I (and noone else) understands the fevers, there is no logical  or obvious reason for them.  I just treat them when they come and they go away until the next afternoon.  Weird!  And the mouth sores, there's an adventure everytime I eat or brush my teeth!  It's OK because I can do hard things!

Me and Maddie went to our Stake Standards night this week and felt so uplifted.  This year's theme (I'm not sure of the lingo) is Joshua 1:9, an awesome scripture that I can apply to me and my situation, and you to yours:

Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest.

The speaker talked briefly about the Olympics and how the cameras show the parents who are intently watching and cheering on their kids who are competing.  I felt in my soul she was teaching an important truth when she said that Heavenly Father knew what we would go through before we even came here.  And that now he is up there intently watching and cheering us on through our trials.  We have the strength and the courage already to face what we're handed.  It's in me!  I was given what I need to get through this before I came here.  Awesome.  Another speaker talked about when Sheri Dew (And I am totally paraphrasing!  I have no idea how accurately I am retelling this!)  was in the RS Presidency and she was in Ghana meeting with a group of sisters.  She saw how little they had, how they had to walk for hours everyday to bring water to their homes, their kids with hungry tummies and humble homes with dirt floors.  She asked the group "What do you need?"  After some moments of silence, a sister in the back stood up and said "We have Jesus Christ.  We have everything."  Isn't that so true?  And isn't it so easy to get caught up in being busy, too connected to electronics, too wrapped up in doing "good" stuff to make time for the "best" stuff?  Sometimes we are handed things in life that help us to keep things in perspective.  I am grateful for this "thing" that has taught me so much. 

I had a blast yesterday hanging out with my friend Diana.  We've been friends since birth, literally, but I lost track of her for a while after we both got married and life happened.  Thanks heavens I found her again a while back!  We sat for 6 hours and never ran out of things to talk and laugh about!  Earlier in the week, I talked to her and told her she didn't have to come if she didn't want to.  I was kind-of discouraging her from coming because she comes from Tooele and sometimes I feel "guilty" having her drive so far for me.  But I was so uplifted by her visit and I apologized for telling her she didn't have to come if she didn't want to.  You're the best, Diana!  Today, I went to lunch with my friend Michelle up in Ogden.  She has been patiently waiting for a good day to get together.  She worries about me lifting her into the van (she's in a wheelchair) and doesn't ever want to be a burden.  We had a great time to and it was good to see her again.  Hope all is well with all of you!  Keep smiling!

Mouth Sores . . .

I just tucked Mat into bed, after all, it is technically "tomorrow".  I am a night owl, but by this time of night, I generally have it pretty well wrapped up.  I just observed an interesting contrast between us.  He sleeps downstairs (in the master bedroom) in full pajama gear, under our big, thick bedspread plus another thick blanket over the top.  I am currently sleeping upstairs (close to the bathroom) with a thin fleece blanket and the ceiling fan on.  Will we ever be able to sleep in the same bed again?!  Dang hot flashes.

I have felt great today, tired but great.  As soon as my sister got here (9:30 a.m.) I laid down to take a nap.  How pitiful!  We went to lunch, though, and it was a good day otherwise.  I am still so tired all the time.  Mat has long rehearsals everyday this week.  The musical (Hello Dolly) opens next Thursday, closing night is the following Monday.  Next week may be a little scary for me.  I have my treatment on Monday and I'll need lots of help to get through it.

I have developed painful mouth sores in the last couple of days.  That is one of the side effects of chemo, but I've been so diligent about taking the Lysine!  I guess as the chemicals build up in your body, more is necessary to keep them from coming.  I'll call tomorrow to find out what I need to do.  I can't eat anything without agitating them and making them bigger.

Feeling Good!

I am one week out from treatment, one week left until treatment #4 (the last of the A/C that is so nasty on my body!!!).  I feel pretty good today, other than being really tired.  Esther took the little kids for a couple of hours today so I could take a nap.  THANKS Esther!  I have never been a regular taker of naps, but I sure need them right now.  If I sit too long, it's all over!

Three weeks before I was diagnosed, I registered for the Ogden Half Marathon.  I had never done one and thought I was up for it.  I guess before cancer, I WAS up for it!  After I was diagnosed I determined to do it anyway, treat it like my last pregnancy and push through it.  And if I could do it, so could my friends and family!  So, I've been recruiting and it's been fun!

This should be an uneventful week, so you may not hear from me regularly.  I'm going to try to clean up my yard and get to the gym, that is probably all I can handle.  I managed to get to the gym tonight and did my weights.  By the time I was done, my legs were shaking.  I jogged for 10 minutes (.89 miles), just a fraction of the 13.1 miles I (plus my team of 12+) will be doing on May 15th.  I feel optimistic this week that I can at least walk it, but I do have my doubts sometimes.  Esther told me she would push a wheelchair and I can rest when I need to.  The things friends do for friends!  I think most of us are planning on walking the entire race and it will be a blast, even if the paramedics have to haul me to the finish line!

Hot flashes arrive . . .

Apparently, my pattern is that I will have fevers the weekend after treatment.  I felt awful yesterday and all night, waking up this morning still feeling awful.  I took Ibuprofen to bring the fever down, and when I checked my temperature an hour later, it was back to normal.  So why was I feeling so yucky?!?  Then it comes to me.  I'm having a hot flash!  Chemo throws you into early menopause, and with it comes hot flashes.  That brought on some not-so-happy thoughts, "Why?  Why now?  Why me?  This is so hard!  I hate what this poison is doing to my body!  I just want to feel good again!"  I made it through Sacrament Meeting and then had Mat bring me home so I could take a nap. 

I've been deep in thought today about how to overcome these feelings.  Mat pointed out that a good portion of this month's Ensign is about trials and adversity, so I started reading.  There is a quote in one of the articles by Orson F. Whitney:

"No pain we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.  It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility.  All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God . . . and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we have come here to acquire."

I find that when I try to do this on my own, those negative feelings come.  When I try to remember that there is a higher purpose in all of this, that I can do anything with God's help, I feel more optimistic about getting through cancer and all that comes with it.  That is a lesson I've learned over and over in my life through various trials.  I will be praying that I can remember to keep God and His purposes in the forefront of my mind, that I can focus on the good that has come from all of this, and that I will be a better, more charitable person when all of this is behind me.

p.s.  This must be included for posterity sake: tonight, Brooklyn said to Mat: "Dad, I am ready for you to go back to work so I can concentrate on cuddling with Mom."

cutest baby ever! (sporting her first two teeth)

Mealtime is an adventure around here!

Here's something else that made me happy today.  Wildlife in my yard!  I looked out the window this afternoon and saw this squirrel up in my favorite crabapple tree eating the apples!  After I snuck outside and snapped the picture, he (I am just assuming "he" is a "he") scurried to shelter underneath our deck.  I wonder if we have a squirrel nest under there?!?  Sheesh, what does one do about that?

our resident squirrel

Other than being dang tired, I've had another good day today.  My neighbor, Marilee took the little kids to her house this morning.  That meant I could go run a couple errands and go meet some ladies at Sizzler in Layton for lunch.  I wasn't sure I'd be up to it, but I'm so glad I went.  The ladies are from the Young Survivor Sisters support group I am a part of, it is so awesome to walk in not knowing who will be there and have instant friends!  Candace, Deann, Becky, Shawna and Minerva were all there and it was great to sit and talk and get to know them!  Ladies, it was great to get to know you.  I am so grateful to have found this group and hope to be involved in the years so come.  Marilee, THANKS for taking the kids this morning.  We are so blessed to have so many awesome people around us!

My taste buds are more off than they've been so far.  It is a little depressing to have to eat but have everything taste funny.  Even at lunch today, I couldn't find anything that tasted "normal", so I just have to force down whatever I'm eating.  Even the handful of chocolate chips I ate this afternoon didn't satisfy.  That is really sad!  I'm going to try to force myself to go to the gym tonight.  It is a weight night and I always feel better when I go.  I'm pretty tired so it might be a struggle.

Extreme Fatigue

The nausea has been surprisingly OK today, I'm kind-of surprised!  Maybe being so consistent with the drugs on Monday made all the difference?  My biggest problem today is fatigue.  Laura and McKenna were here all morning playing and helping and cleaning.  Heather came about noon to take the kids to her house.  I was taking a nap and don't remember Laura leaving!  Honestly, how awful is that??!  After Heather came, I took another nap and I'm still so tired tonight.  I've got to force another couple hours out of this day and then I'll take my drugs and crash again!  A HUGE thanks to both of you for helping me get through the day today.  Holly takes over my carpool on the days I can't drive, and always diligent Laurie comes promptly at 5 p.m. everyday to give me my shots.  THANKS to both of you as well!  "Chemo Brain" is a real, genuine condition that causes extreme air-headedness.  I have it big time!  I was at the grocery store tonight when Laurie came and she had to make two trips.  She's a real trooper!  Mat had parent-teacher conferences tonight, so he didn't get home until 7:30.  My great neighbor, Melissa, took the baby late this afternoon which helped me get through that part of the day.  She has a baby girl the same age as McKinley, it was cute to see them together.  McKinley was just as happy as could be when I picked her up.  : )   Thanks Melissa!  I could not do this without the generous help from so many people.  I'm grateful to have so many awesome people around us!  The kids are thriving despite what is going on with me.  That was a huge worry for me in the beginning, but I can see now that things have fallen into place and in the end, we'll all be just fine.

Unusual to feel so good on day 2

I don't know if it's because I took so many drugs yesterday, but I've felt really good today!  I even went out and cut down some of my plants in the yard!  Weird.  Nothing tastes like it should, but I feel good!   I am having to gag down the water.  I'm supposed to drink a lot of it to help flush out kidneys, but it is hard when it tastes so awful.  I decided to stay away from juices.  At 100 calories per cup, I don't need all that empty sugar, and Crystal Light--yuck.  Maybe I'll have to break down and try it again, but it doesn't sound appealing.  The taste distortion is worse this time around, I expect it will continue to get worse each time.  My sister came to help today, we ran some errands, made some phone calls about race shirts, and got some things done.  I took a long nap after she left because the baby was too.  Just what I needed!

Third Treatment (behind me!)

I went in this morning for my third treatment.  It takes about 2 1/2 hours for the stuff to drip in.  Mary is my "designated driver" and then we go to lunch afterward.  It is always a good time!  Thanks Mary!  They put me in the big room today.  There was one other couple in there, really nice people.  After talking to them for a while about our situations, he said "Do you know someone named Gretchen? . . . Gretchen Skelly?"  YES!  They work together as social workers, and she was one of my favorite mission companions.  He said she told him just enough about me to be able to put the pieces together and figure out we both know her.  Crazy huh?

I've been able to stay on top of the nausea pretty well this time.  I've taken a lot of pills, which makes me jittery (I'm having a hard time typing), my eyesight is blurry and my eyes are "tired", I don't feel very good and need to go face going to bed.  I've slept a lot today, the pills see to that.  So, there isn't a lot to report.  Ulmers came today and helped with kids, cleaned, took the kids for a walk to Winegars to buy a few things, and made us dinner.  We love you!  Also, THANKS to Eileen, my bread making friend, that delivered 5 more fresh loaves tonight.