Brooklyn's stress

Up to this point, I haven't seen a lot of stress in Brooklyn, or, I should say, I didn't recognize it.  For the last few weeks, she has told us half a dozen times or more that she had a tummy ache and felt like she was going to be sick.  Then, after a minute or two, she would skip off to play with the kids or get distracted in another way and be perfectly fine.  After the first two or three times, we brushed it off as her being hungry from not eating her dinner (she's our pickiest eater).  This morning, the same thing happened.  She was fine all morning and we got ready for church.  Not long before we left, she came to me in tears and told me she had a tummy ache.  I was a little impatient because we were trying to get ready to go.  Then I sensed that there may be something deeper than a tummy ache.  I asked if there was something else it could be.  " I don't know . . . (tears)".  Is everyone being nice at church?  "I don't know . . . (more tears)".  Then I felt that I needed to ask if she was worried about something.  "Yes . . . (more tears)".  I asked, "Are you worried about me?"  "Yes. (lots of tears)."  I took her downstairs so we could talk to dad.  He gave her a blessing to help her feel reassured and confident that everything would be OK.  I am so grateful for the priesthood in our home and for this teaching opportunity that helped reinforce the source of all of our strength.

The big kids seemed to show more signs of stress early on, just after my diagnosis and during the surgeries.  You all know about how willing kids are to share their deepest thoughts and feelings!  They say they understand what is going on and that things will turn out just fine in the end.  But I have seen some signs that make me wonder.  We are involved with the Cancer Wellness House in SLC.  They have support groups led by social workers for teens and kids, as well as for caregivers and patients.  They will also be going to a summer camp in August for kids with a parent that has had cancer.  I hope these will be a help to them, that they can open up and share how they feel when they are around other kids that know what they are going through.  I worry about them, of course!  I worry because I don't have the energy to be as involved with school, to make nutritious meals everyday, to organize projects or outings, and a few other things that would be my idea of an on-the-ball mom.  Those days will come back soon as the chemo works it's way through my body and my memory and energy come back.

Tomorrow is treatment #6!  I don't have to take all those steroids again, so I shouldn't be so fatigued that I can't function for a week.  Happy day!  It's funny how optimistic I felt when the first of April rolled around.  I knew I would be done in May and it suddenly seemed so doable!  I think I really can get through all of this!