Thursday, March 26, 2020

covid ... earthquake ... isolation ... bone mets ...

Maybe I shouldn't say anything yet because I haven't clarified anything with my doctor yet. I got the results from yesterdays bone scan on my chart. I'm not feeling encouraged, to say the least. It might explain my hip pain, and the pain in my ribs on the left in December when I had the blood clot on the right side.  I guess I'm not invincible like I've always thought! Geez.  I'm not ready for this.

FINDINGS:
Since the prior bone scan, there has been a progression of osteoblastic metastases. There is a new lesion involving the majority of the anterior left fourth rib. On CT, this is sclerotic and demonstrates an anterior pathologic fracture. There is focal area of uptake involving the posteromedial fifth or sixth rib which, on comparison CT, appears to be a healing fracture.  There is focal increased uptake involving the superior left medial iliac region and another new focal area of uptake involving the right intertrochanteric left intertrochanteric region and the left femoral neck. There is subtle sclerosis on recent CT involving the left intertrochanteric region, left femoral neck and left superomedial iliac bone.

IMPRESSION:
Multiple new bony metastases.

I'm going to admit that I'm not sure what all of these medical terms mean, but I do understand "multiple new bony metastases".  I don't do bone pain, friends.  The irony (and the blessing) of my stage 4 cancer is that I've never been in pain. The tumors were tucked away in my liver and lymph.  That will change sooner than I hoped.  BLAHHHHH!  I don't know what else to say.

Friday, March 13, 2020

Covid AND Chemo Fatigue

Remember them?
I don't know about you, but I'm already so burned out on this virus stuff.  It overwhelms me to hear about it constantly in the media.  Having EVERYTHING canceled depresses me.  It blows my mind that people will wait in lines for 90 minutes or more so they can pay for the stuff in their overflowing carts.   How could getting the "stuff" be worth that kind of wait?!?  I'm running out of time, folks.  I've got NO patience for it.  It's been a hard week, feeling like everything I need to keep me going was canceled.  I can't imagine what the next two weeks will be like with no church to go to, no atonement class, no support groups, etc.  I keep thinking of places I can take the kids.  Then I remember, everything is closed.  Can't wait to be on the other side of corona!

Speaking of running out of time, I saw Dr. Buys today.  It was great to finally see her.  She's always so complimentary, upbeat and positive.  She asked me about the kids and their ages.  When I told her McK was 10, she said "Well let's see you through to her graduation!" That would be amazing!

She explained so well about what my two spots could be. First, those spots could be is broken bones that are healing.  Again, they can't confirm it or rule it out.  I can't imagine what I could have done to break ribs this high in my back, I certainly have no memory of an injury.  I'm not exactly a dare devil, quite the opposite!  I've been quite the wimp since I learned my bones are brittle.

They could be cancer, but, again, they aren't big enough to confirm it or rule it out.  I went back on my medical records and looked at the results on previous chest CT scans.  The 4th rib has been mentioned before.  My best guess is that the spots are cancer because broken bones just don't make sense.

I'm getting a bone scan next Wednesday.  That will give us a better look at what those spots might be.  I'm pretty sure there won't be any surprises (as far as additional spots).  I did one just after my diagnosis two years ago, so it's time to revisit that.  My treatment plan isn't changing at all, still an infusion every three weeks, study drug on 4 week cycles, hormone shots every month.  I'm not going to lie.  Sometimes I get tired of being tired, but my amazing team at Huntsman is keeping me alive, with a lot of hand sanitizer, encouragement, love and support along the way.

Monday, March 9, 2020

Not what I hoped for ...

I had my CT scan on Friday but didn't get the results until today.  I've been a little freaked out because I've had this long "honeymoon" period where there's been no evidence of disease for a little over a year.  It's been so great to feel as normal as someone in my situation can feel!  Having the scan but having to wait the weekend to get results is excruciating. The other thing is having those results released to my chart before I have a chance to talk to my doctor to have her explain the findings ... also excruciating.  I may be reading more into it than it is.  The way I see it is, any change isn't good because it means cells are mutating and growing again.  I see my doctor on Wednesday at our group, and again on Friday.

MUSCULOSKELETAL:

  • Slightly worsening and sclerosis of the left fourth rib, series 3 image 26. 
  • Slightly worsening sclerosis and new irregularity of the left second rib. May be due to fracture or growing metastasis. Recommend attention on follow-up.
I knew about one of those spots, but a second spot is news to me.  I have early osteoporosis, reduced bone mass makes bones weaker and more susceptible to breaks and cancer spread.  The bones are a very typical place for breast cancer to spread. I hope I feel a little better after talking to the doc, I hope I'm blowing this way out of proportion.  I'll keep you posted.