I'm trying ...

Man, it's been a rough road lately.  I met with Radiology a week ago and had an MRI on my hip Thursday afternoon.  The doctor said they'll only zap me once.  It must be effective if I only have to do it once! 

The MRI got pictures of the exact location of the cancer, which will give them the information they need to make a mold for my body.  I'll also get a few small tattooed dots of where the lasers will point.  They are confident that with radiation in the bone in this spot, no damage will occur to anything around it, my bladder and all parts related to that. That's comforting (said with a tinge of sarcasm).  These are not the stories I hear from friends!

I hope I will be scheduled to start the radiation process this week, they'll be hearing from me on Tuesday if they don't call me tomorrow. There are times when I do too much and I hurt so bad.  Yesterday was one of those.  My doctor prescribed Tramadol, which is a low dose narcotic for pain.  I've been so hesitant to take anything like that.  I just want to be able to take Ibuprofen or Naproxen!  That's what works for me, but my only option is Tylenol because it's the only one that doesn't thin the blood.  It's been 9 months since I had the pulmonary embolism, and I'm not sure how long I have to take Eliquis to prevent clots. If I didn't need Eliquis, I could take Ibuprofen or Naproxen.  Cancer is hard.  So hard.

I'm feeling more confident about traveling, which is a scary thing to say!  Mat and I are going to SoCal over his fall break.  I found super cheap airline tickets and couldn't resist!  All I want to do is sit on the beach and watch the waves come in. We'll go to Walmart when we get there to get beach chairs.  Of course, we'll wear masks, keep sanitizer with us always and be so careful.  We'll also visit my Aunt Carol, my Moms sister, and maybe some cousins if it all works out.  I'm grateful to have that to look forward to -- I'm SO SICK of isolation, loneliness, being paranoid about contact with the outside world. I want to eat amazing food at beachside restaurants, I want to ignore phones and talk about hard stuff with Mat. We can still laugh through hard conversations.

In November I'm going to see my friend Annette in Alaska. I can't wait to see what kind of adventures we'll get to there!  I'd love to see the northern lights (last time I went they hid behind clouds all but one night).  Everything is a jumble in my brain, but I think that was Feb. 2019. 

I still have lots of places on my bucket list: England/Ireland/Scotland, Kauai Hawaii, Sequoia and Yosemite NP, back to Lake Tahoe, San Fran, and up the coast to Oregon and Washington.  I want to go to Glacier NP and Banff and Moraine lakes up in Canada, I want to see the trees in Maine when they change to fall color (and go to Acadia NP).  I think that covers it!  😁

Most importantly, I need to keep working on my list of people to visit in the near future!  It's a long list. If you feel I'm taking too long to come see you, come see me!  I have to work everything I do around what they tell me I need to do at Huntsman.