We spent much of yesterday afternoon and evening in St. Augustine exploring the old city. History lover Mat signed us up for walking tour that went over what it was like when the city was colonized. Then we explored the historic city and shopped, etc. I was pretty hammered from all the walking we did, but it's a cool town with live music wafting from restaurants and parties all over. We went into a shop called MetalArts and were approached by a beautiful younger woman with a shiny, smooth head. I asked her if she was going through what I was going through. She has Alopecia, and has decided to embrace it and not worry about wigs. Her confidence inspired me and I went the rest of the night without covering my head. After all, it was high 70's and low 80's here yesterday! I wish I had taken a picture with her, she inspired me to not care so much.
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| These are the Christmas light St. Augustine gets excited about. Pshhhh. They need to see how it's done in Utah! |
This morning we went to church with the Palm Coast and Bunnell wards. They combined like our home wards did, so it was just an hour meeting. It was so nice to come around the corner and see that familiar church architecture and know we would be welcomed and uplifted!
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| Even Mat caught some waves! |
After church, we went to the beach, because nature! The kids have had such a great time on the beach! I love the hours and hours I sit there with my feet in the sand, watching them run around, catching waves, building sand things, chasing birds and tiny creatures in the sand. The lady whose house this is bought 4 boogie boards and some beach chairs so we could use them, and we have! She also did some simple Christmas decorations inside and outside. She didn't have to, but she knew our situation and wanted to make it a special week for us. I can't express how amazing it has been! I talked to a friend from home tonight who helped me clarify why it's been such a great week. We're away from home, away from the day to day responsibilities, away from distractions and friends who might pull the kids into other activities. All there is to do is spend time together and in the case of some kids, torment each other! The only distraction comes from phones ... blaahhhh!
When we were at the dolphin place yesterday, Brooklyn commented again about how happy I was. That warms my heart, because my heart has been heavy for three months. Skipping chemo on Friday certainly helps, it really takes a toll on me! This week has made me more aware of how my mental health affects the kids. I don't cry often, and never in front of them. It's hard to know how to manage that when I feel so overwhelmed, and sick, and tired, and unable to function. When I'm doing chemo, I don't have the energy to get off the couch, let alone be funny and engaged. I don't really know what to do about it. It is what is. I'm not happy about this path I'm on, there's a lot of heavy stuff to deal with. So I deal the best I can.
p.s. Have a Merry Christmas tomorrow!
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