One reason Shayla's passing has been hard on me is because the cancer took over her liver and it stopped functioning. There was nothing more her doctors could do for her. That hit me hard because my liver is the epicenter of the cancer in my body. Realizing that the same thing could happen to me filled my soul with grief and anxiety.
I've struggled with Shayla's passing because of her kids are so young, and because she was such a great person who touched so many people! It's easy to question (on the surface) why she was taken from us. This one hits close to my heart because my kids are close friends with her kids through Camp Kesem. She helped me so much when I needed information and support. My heart breaks for her family, and so many others that have graduated earth life and left family behind. I have too many friends whose families have been affected by the "early" death of a precious Mom or Dad.
One of my awesome friends called me tonight to reassure me and remind me of some great truths. Heavenly Father is aware of what Shayla's family has gone through this week, and He will send people into their lives to strengthen and help them. Her kids will be watched over, guided and blessed through angels they can and cannot see. I have no doubt that Shayla is already hard at work on the other side giving her family strength.
My friend also reminded me tonight that God's plan for my (everyones!) life was predetermined before I came here. Only God knows how long I will live. I will "graduate" only after I have fulfilled my mission on earth. I believe that my cancer is part of that mission. I have great friends that I couldn't have met in any other way. I have stronger ties to friends and family because of cancer. My priorities have totally changed. I can reach out in compassion to people who are struggling because of the compassion that has been shown to me and my family. I'm more reliant on God than I ever have been, because I have to search for strength like I've never done before.
Beginning my day today, I felt despair and fear. Tonight I feel grateful for the plan God has for each one of us. We don't get to choose our trials in this life, but we do get to choose our response and reaction to them. We can choose resistance, resentment and anger OR we can choose acceptance, love and understanding.
I would still love me some eyebrows. I researched micro-blading, that's what I would love to do! It's so expensive though. Our money needs to go towards our epic summer road trip 🗽 and improvements in our condo 🏡 so we can sell it. So, for the time being, I'll be content with what I don't have on my face. 😜
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