Mom Moment

 I had a real Mom

moment with McK this week. It was late at night, but not a crisis because it’s spring break. She came in my room with her eyes welling up. I know her well enough to know the last thing she needs in those moments is for me to melt down. I asked her what was up, she said she was having anxiety/depression about my cancer and me feeling so rotten lately. She said she was so worried about me being sick, and that I might die really fast, and we wouldn’t give her enough warning to get ready. It really broke my heart (AGAIN!) that her whole existence has been my cancer.

I assured her she was second in line to find out and “be ready”. Dad first, then McK! Sorry Maddie, Isaac, Brooklyn! She’s in front of you! Then we had an amazing talk for about 1 1/2 - 2 hours about how she came to be, (because it was a process to convince the Mom to do another pregnancy!), how the cancer happened after that, so many miracles and tender mercies … then she asked if she could bring her pillow and blanket in and sleep on my bed. She did, and I talked her ear off some more, before finally realizing she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore! When I woke in the morning, I was relegated to 20% on the south-east corner of the mattress, both dogs spread eagle at the bottom and McK curled up in a fetal position and her knees in my back. My BIGGEST Regret? I didn’t think to hit the “record” button.