When I woke up this morning and peered outside at gray skies and a couple inches of new snow, I'll admit it didn't brighten my spirit. Quite the opposite - I've been sitting on my bed almost the entire day, occasionally pulling up FB or youtube and scrolling, occasionally looking out the window because I can't get myself to do anything else. I wish I had the energy to paint the living room wall, because then we could put everything back in its place and put one more project behind us.
This afternoon I got a message from a massage therapist I had seen a few times earlier this year. She said she was cutting back on customers but I could contact the other therapist at the business. I said, "Is that who had early stage breast cancer a while back?" She replies, "Yes, she had a very difficult year but is now cancer free." Then I have a litany of rebuttals running through my head about how she is definitely NOT cancer free, and NOT out of the woods, because there isn't a cure for cancer, first of all, most especially a hormone driven cancer that comes on around the birth of a child. Her diagnosis came as so many do, during a pregnancy or right around the birth of a baby. Would I change the choices we made that led to children/cancer? NOT. A. CHANCE. Do I want to talk to doctors about how they talk to young Moms after a cancer diagnosis? You bet. Is the right thing to do to talk to patients about percentages and likelihoods? Absolutely. But if you're told that there's on a 12-15% chance it could come back? That number doesn't matter when you're in the 100% category that did come back.
I'll stop there - more chocolate and youtube.
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