Yeah!

I had my very last Neupogen shot today!  I am so grateful for that and for those that have come to give them to me.  Laurie and Natasha have been awesome--and patient, on the days I forgot it was time for them to come and wasn't home!  Thanks for doing that for me so I didn't have to stick myself!!!  Sixty six shots in all, almost $20,000 worth (THANK HEAVENS for great insurance!), and that doesn't include the cost of the chemo or its administration.  : )  Wow.  I wonder what they put in these things?!?

Despite me being so tired, we've had a good week.  We had our friends over on Friday.  I overheard Brooklyn suddenly tell all the kids, "My mom doesn't have cancer anymore!"  I think she absorbed Mat's explanation and my demonstration with the leaf.  I hope she will feel better and sleep better knowing that.  I hope everyone sleeps better knowing that!  She asked me yesterday why, when we go to the dentist, they don't have a drawer for the grown-ups where they can pick out purses and other stuff.  I love what kids come up with!  : )

Isaac loves to read!  He constantly thinks about the stories he's reading and loves to tell us all about them.  He brought home a paper from school this week titled "All About Me!".  It is an outline for a paper they are working on at school.  The three catagories he chose to write about are his dreams, his favorite sports and his favorite things to do.  His dreams are to be come an author, a librarian and a celebrity.  Awesome!  His favorite sports are football, soccer and baseball.  We play all of those at home, even the littlest among us.  His favorite things to do are play video games *sigh*, read and people watch.  I love to watch people!  I didn't know that about him!  I am so glad I've slowed down and I'm more involved and paying more attention to the small details.  Of all of the kids, I think Isaac has benefitted the most from me being home all the time.  He smiles more, is more relaxed and spends more time "hanging" with the fam.  My business took a lot out of all of us and I am grateful to be able to take this year off.

I asked the big kids to help me with some weeding yesterday.  The rain just hasn't worked around the days I feel good, and I am a fair weather gardener!  The backyard is a disaster, there is so much to do.  When I get Isaac out to help me, he'll do it, but it's probably his least favorite thing to do.  Maddie grunts, but she's more willing.  We went out and got started and were able to talk a long time about all kinds of stuff.  The others were distracted with a project, so it was just me and her.  It was awesome!  After we came in, she said, "That was fun to talk and stuff."  I learned that when you want your kids to open up and talk to you about what is going on in their lives, WEED together!

I've been thinking about the half marathon last week.  The hardest part of the race was the last 4 to 5 blocks.  I could see the finish line, but it felt like I would never get there.  When I was diagnosed, I was so overwhelmed by everything that needed to happen to make me well again, all the things in my life that would need to change, the help I would need to learn to accept and the complete inadequacy I felt depending on spiritual strength I didn't think I had.  I had a hard time believing then that I would be where I am today--at the end of treatments (I've heard from many that the emotional stuff could still come).  I think our lives are like that too.  We cruise along and things are going great and something happens, a crisis, that helps us remember why we are here and who is in charge.  This morning we were listening to the choir broadcast.  They sang "How Firm A Foundation", which I love, especially since Mac Wilberg spiced it up so fantastically!  The very last verse goes like this:

The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose
I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I'll never, no never, I'll never, no never,

I'll never, no never, no never forsake!

Websters says 'repose' means "being at rest; peace; tranquillity; calm; dignified calmness, as of manner; composure".  That is exactly how I feel!  Even though this has been tough, this has been a blessing.  My spirit has been strengthened and I have felt His love.  We all have definitely felt His love.