..when "strong" is the only choice I have..: Chocolate Dome-A Classic Chemo Brain Story

I think I'll start with today and work backwards. I'm kind of far behind!

I had my support group up at Huntsman today. It is always so great to see friends each month to cheer each other on, support and help other process through things. Today was great and real at the same time. Several women are dealing with progressed disease, chronic pain or just the emotions of dealing with it in the first place. While we had a great discussion, I left feeling a little heart-broken for my friends who are suffering more than I am.

There is a caregiver support group every Wednesday at the same time as ours. Mat went for the first time today because it was the first opportunity to go since I was diagnosed in September! I think it was good for him, although he probably thinks he's "OK" and "he doesn't need to process". He's a dude! Doesn't think he needs to process things! He came home with a list of 12 things to make sure he's doing everyday, which I thought was great.

I had a consultation scheduled for this afternoon, I was a little stressed about it. This couple is from Greece and speak with a thick accent. He's a heart surgeon, she's an architect. After Ken (retail manager at J and J) introduced me to them, he said "Do whatever you have to do to take care of them. They are friends of Jerry's". Jerry is the guy that owns J and J. NO PRESSURE!

I got another referral today from Ken. The last name is Skaggs. Remember Skaggs Alphabeta? Yes, it's that guy. NO PRESSURE!

When I got home from group, Mat was already there. I told him he should come to Kneaders with me to get a cookie or something so I could gear up for my appointment. He declined because he had a cookie at Huntsman, and didn't want another one. I said, "Fine! I'll go by myself!" in a sarcastic manner.

See what I mean??! Best. Treat. Ever!

When I got to Kneaders, I ordered a Chocolate Dome to go. By the time I got there, I decided to go for the big guns. Because, NO PRESSURE! I knew it would be consumed before I left the parking lot, but I wasn't in the mood to sit in the dining room. So they brought me the bag and I went to the car. I threw my keys on the seat, opened the bag and saw there was no fork or napkin. No fork or napkin?? How was I supposed to eat a "to-go" Chocolate Dome without a fork or napkin?? So I carried the to-go container in my left hand and walked in to get a fork and napkin, leaving my purse, phone, and keys on the seat.

As I approached my car again, I had a little panic attack because I realized I'd locked the keys in the car. I saw a nice young women at the table outside and asked if I could use her cell phone to call my husband to come rescue me (all the while, holding my to-go container in the open palm of my left hand. While balancing her phone and dialing with my right hand.) I called Mat a couple of times. No answer. I called the home phone. No answer. I knew he was laying on the couch, that's where I'd just left him! I called my neighbor Mary. No answer. I called Mat again. He finally answered and I told him the predicament I was in. So he left to come rescue me. I thanked the nice girl for letting me use her phone and walked back toward the car. I opened the container and began to eat the chocolate dome while I waited for Mat. Because now I had a fork! And a napkin!

I literally ate almost the entire thing before I saw the keys through the clear container, hanging from my middle finger on my left hand. I had them all along. I realize now that poor girl was looking at me like I was crazy the entire time, like I was trying to fool her or something. Or maybe she thought she was on some hidden camera show or something! I'm kind of surprised she didn't just tell me the keys were on my finger. Maybe she wanted to see just how far it would go, or maybe she was stunned speechless.

I laughed at myself as I got in the car, then called Mat to tell him what I had done. I started laughing SO HARD that the tears flowed and my belly ached. Sometimes, my best entertainment is myself.

We made it!

Little Pink - Sedona Edition

The Grand Canyon. How have I lived all my life relatively close
to this and never got there? It's way bigger than I ever imagined.

We had such a great time in Sedona. The non-profit, Little Pink Houses of Hope, have sponsored trips for breast cancer survivors and their families for years, but this was the first in Sedona. I'm such a lame-o because I didn't take many pictures the whole week, but we had so much fun! We were instructed to relax and recharge, and I did! When we got there on Sunday (June 3rd) we met at a Methodist church. There we met the volunteers that would help us all week. When we walked in, one of the volunteers told me that I needed to go meet "that" family sitting at the table next to ours. We were in the same kayaking group the next day and they had kids about the same ages as ours.

What happened next was magical. I walked up to the Mom, Belinda, and introduced myself and told here we should be friends because we were in the same kayaking group. So, clearly! We talked a little about our diagnoses, our kids, and I met her husband. We discovered that McKinley and her daughter Sophie were pretty close in age. They clicked instantly too! They live in Spokane, but Belinda is from Mississippi and has the coolest southern accent. Her daughter Sarah talks like her Mom, she called me "Miss Kim" with the same southern accent all week. We grew to love their family and will be lifelong friends, I'm sure of that!

The kids spent a lot of time out here!

We had plenty of room in this great house!

This retreat was a perfect balance of fun Sedona activities and down time with family. Kayaking, including water fights, an off-road Pink Jeep (has nothing to do with breast cancer, it's jus a marketing thing) tour for caregivers, "survivor coffee" (we met at a coffee shop and talked for a long time-I was the only one that ordered hot chocolate), Family Game Night, writing workshop, Adults Night Out (kids went to a ceramic studio and got to use the wheel), an excursion to the Grand Canyon, AND they had a professional photographer to take pictures of all the families. It truly was a rejuvenating week where we spent lots of time together and laughed and played. Little Pink does it right, I tell you! I found out at the survivor coffee from Jeanine, the founder of Little Pink, that they get 3000 applications a year from people who want to do this. It's only been a few months since I applied, so I was shocked when I heard that! How did they pick our application out of that many and get us on this retreat? I think it's because we needed to be there. We needed that time together in a beautiful place. We needed to meet the people we did. I am very grateful we got the opportunity!