#cancersucks

I had grand plans for today.  I had so much I wanted to accomplish!  But the best made plans ...

I've known that my friend Bonnie was prepping to leave on their own grand adventure.  They sold their house and got rid of (in one way or another) just about everything they own.  They bought a motorhome and will travel the country for the foreseeable future, from Alaska to Alabama!  I'm jealous!

I thought they might be gone by now, but when I saw on FB they hadn't left yet, I jumped at my chance to go talk to her one more time!  I met Bonnie many years ago at Wasatch Peak, our kids charter school.  We've been friends for at least 10 years, she's a dear friend.  We sat on her brothers front porch and talked for a while.  During our conversation, I got a phone call from what I knew was a number from Huntsman.  It was my oncologist.

I don't often hear from my oncologist, I usually talk to her nurse about scan results or questions.  So when it was her, I kind of panicked!  The news was good though, everything is stable or a tiny bit smaller.  So, the combination of chemo we're doing right now is doing it's job!  The infusion, the study drug, the hormone shots - all worth it.

After I hung up, I had to take a minute to get back to breathing.  I realized I was having a little "panic attack like" episode from talking to Dr. Prystas.  I was going to say "this cancer thing doesn't seem to affect me too much" until I remembered the constant itching on my arms, back, and neck.  And the hives I get from touching my skin.  It affects me, I'll definitely be brainstorming that when I have my appointment with her tomorrow!  Because it's "nerve" itching, I can scratch and scratch, but I've found that only aggravates it.  That just irritates the nerves, so I have to try not to scratch it.  "Try" being the operative word there.

The only thing I've found that helps with the itching is Gabapentin, the side effects of which are dizziness and blurry vision.  I take two at night (so I sleep through that) one at breakfast, and one at a time later in the day if needed.  The maximum dose is 3600 mg a day, I only take about 1200.  I can't imagine how anyone can function taking that much!  I'm grateful I have options.

I found out late last night that another dear friend, Ginger, just had brain surgery to remove a large tumor that was growing there.  Breast cancer will grow, remarkably, almost anywhere.  She's overcome so much in her life, she's been a powerful example and light to thousands of people through her Soul Survivor Conference (I went last fall).  Her positivity and powerful spirit will get her through whatever comes of this.  I love her so much.