Feeling Normal!

I was looking back through the blog and realized that my itch has been going on since February, that's when I first said something to my nurse.  Eleven solid months of misery.  In the beginning, I justified that my "chronic itch" was better than "chronic pain".  But after a few months, it becomes worse than anything I've ever experienced.  It would keep me up half the night, so I'd sleep half the day.  My sleep schedule was so whacked out!

Now that there's no itch, I feel totally back to my old self!  I'd wondered if I'd ever find my old self again.  I'm working on moving my bed time up slowly, so I can get up at a reasonable hour.  I'm functioning better in general.  My energy levels are still not great, it takes me a long time to get things crossed off my list.  Other than energy, my only complaint is a little nerve pain in my right foot.  I think the greatest cancer advice I ever got was to go to Annie, the acupuncturist.  That's when the itching slowly started going away.  After the third session, it was totally gone.

This weekend I went with a group of leaders and about 20 girls between 12 and 18 from our ward on an overnighter. We all had a blast!  Even me!  If this had happened even 2 months ago, there is no way I could have even considered going.  Brooklyn is in that group, it was so fun to see her be wild and crazy and hilarious with her peers!  I don't think there's a better way to unify a group of girls than to get out of the routine and throw in some games.  We played "Murder After Dark" until after midnight, laughed our guts out and ate way too much food that shouldn't be consumed in the quantities we ate them.  It was a blast!

I was asked by our ward historian to write up the ways I've seen the hand of the Lord through all of this cancer stuff.  I've been working on that for a couple weeks, going back through the blog to remind myself of all the times miracles happened at just the right time for us.  I hope she's OK with a short book, it's getting quite long!  Friends, always remember that we have the choice to leave God if we want to, but God is always there for us.  There have been times in my life where I've been lazy or complacent, didn't put in the effort to feel worthy of His help.  I even said that to Mat the night before my mammogram in Nov. 2009. "I don't have a strong enough spiritual backbone to go through something like cancer, so everything has to be OK!"  I love the scripture in Revelation 3:20

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in unto him, and will sup with him, and he with me."

I remember having the picture in our house as a kid, and my Mom pointing out in the picture that there was no door knob on His side of the door, we have to let him in.
It's a profound lesson I've never forgotten.

Maddie leaves for Moscow, Russia in just 9 days.  😫  How will I survive without her?!  She'll be gone until June 2nd, teaching English to kids.  The ironic thing is that Mat leaves for Rome, Italy the same day!  He's going with his family to the temple open house and to see a few sights.  He's only gone 6 days, so we'll see how much trouble we can get into while he's gone.

I have my next CT scan tomorrow morning.  I haven't been freaking out about this one, it snuck up on me.  Maybe I'm getting a little cocky about just assuming the results are going to be good.  And I'm still praying they are!  So there will be another blog update on Tuesday.  Love you guys!