Pac Man

 I convinced myself early on that if I had to go early, cancer was a good way to do it. I could plan and prepare, you know! Intentionally accomplish some things that were neglected. My world was turned upside down in January when everything turned upside down, chemo wasn't working, tumor markers kept rising. While I feel "yucky" most of the time, I've felt the worst I ever have emotionally. The battles that rage in my head everyday are unlike anything I've ever dealt with. Our neighbor across the street asked me if there was anything they could do. I said "nothing". What do I say? What do I need?! I guess I could say weeding or mowing my lawn. Mat really can't do everthing. Though he tries.

I start infusions of an old chemo friend on Friday. Taxol will be my friend 3 weeks on, one week off. This will be my third time on Taxol. I hope it's nice to me, I hope I can handle the side effects, I hope mouth sores aren't involved ... and I pray I can buy some time. Will you all visualize a Pac Man type scenario in your head and watch those tumors disappear. (Pac Man was the last video game I played -- I'm WAY behind the times. Love you all!

08/05/23

There is still a lot to accomplish before I go! I'm contacting my doctor today to see if she can raise the dose on the Taxol or add another drug to go with it. We're good for a while, I think. But if sure felt good to get all that out last night!