2nd treatment

"I know that I am held in the hands of God and that I
am perfectly and utterly safe, and so I am." 

I have to thank Melyn for telling me about this quote and then giving me a hand-painted copy it so I could have it up in my room all of the time.  Knowing this is important for me today.  Thanks Melyn!

I was feeling pretty uptight yesterday about having to go in today.  It's crazy to go in feeling awesome and come out feeling nauseated and dizzy.  I want to tell you about a dream I had this morning, I dreamed about my dad.  I won't explain all of the details of the dream, because they don't really matter.  But he was sleeping and we were there with him.  He roused and saw me, I rushed over to tell him that I loved him.  He said, "I love you too."  I don't believe it is a coincidence that I would have a dream like that on the morning of a treatment I was so worried about.  I also don't believe that it is a coincidence that I would have the dream right before I woke up this morning, so when I woke up it was the first thing on my mind.  After I pondered those things, I cried.

Everything about the treatment was fine, I go in feeling great, they knock me to the ground and I try to walk out.  I feel like crap tonight.  I am so nauseated.  I guess I just need to plan on popping nausea meds all day on treatment day.  Hopefully I will start to feel better tomorrow after I take my next Emend and the steroid.  The doctor gave me a new nausea medication today, it's active ingredient happens to be the active ingredient in marijuana.  So it's official.  I'm a druggie.  He called it medical marijuana.  I hate taking nausea medication, it makes me so dizzy and tired.  This too shall pass.

I have to thank John and Wendy for taking our kids all day today.  My appointment wasn't until 11:00, so they had us come over early and made us all breakfast, which was awesome.  Then sent us home with soup and breadsticks that we'll eat tomorrow.  You guys are awesome and the kids had a great time!  THANKS!  Our sweet neighbor Louise, who is probably in her 80's, brought in pizza tonight.  She told me yesterday at church that she doesn't cook, so she would just buy it for us.  She brought us Little Caesars, which we all love.  I survived college on Little Caesars, I have a lot of happy memories of pizza runs from the Institute. Thanks Louise!

We went to visit my mom tonight.  She just got back from a week in southern California with Mo (Nanette Kern, her best friend).  She got some desparately needed R and R.  She showed me the sketch that Mel did of my dad's tombstone.  It looks awesome!  I approve!  I took a Compazine before I left because I could tell the nausea was coming on.  I didn't anticipate needing to follow it up with more meds an hour later, that is why I feel so awful tonight.  So, I'm going to take more drugs which will knock me out for the night (I hope!).

I have been able to cover every "shift" this week except Wednesday from 1-5 p.m.  If there is anyone that is available and willing to come help out with the little kids for a while, will you please let me know?  I've left a couple of messages tonight with people, so it may be taken care of, but I won't know until tomorrow.  And honestly, I'm not sure I'll feel good enough to remember to make sure it's covered.  THANKS!