Miracles

I woke up really early this morning, unable to sleep.  I picked up a book that was recommended by my cousin, Emily, that was written by her sister-in-law.  It is called Hard Times and Holy Places by Kristin Warner Belcher.  I was able to find it at our library, and it has really helped me to solidify and clarify and understand why and how we go through things that are hard.  The book is amazing, but one quote stuck out to me in the pre-dawn hours this morning: 

• "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously.  When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more.  He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion which polish you for your everlasting benefit.  To get you from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."  ("Trust in the Lord", Ensign, November 1995, pg. 16)

When I started this journey, I was confused, distressed, a little bit angry and had to ask myself  "WHY!", Why right now?  Why cancer?  Why me?  Now, I can look back and thank God for the journey.  We have witnessed so many miracles and received so many blessings.  I felt in my heart early on that everything would be OK, that I just needed to have faith and trust that God would take care of the details.  I have seen things fall into place, I have watched as countless people, our families and so many old and new friends, have come into our home and blessed our lives.  I was so worried about the kids and how I would manage the little ones, especially the baby, with everything else going on.  Our sincere thanks to so many people who have come in and cleaned everything in sight, ironed clothes I've neglected for months, washed floors/countertops/mirrors/windows, swept and vacuumed floors, loved the kids, cooked so many meals, and been miraculous in so many other ways!  Today's angels were Laura, McKenna, Diane, Mary and Kaeley.  My perspective is forever changed because of the great people we've had around us.

I made a really hard phone call today.  I called my friend, Gail (who is technically my "boss") at TriCity Nursery, to tell her that I need to give up my business this year.  I'm a landscape designer and TriCity has been really good to me the last couple of years, allowing me to be their "designer" and funneling a lot of business to me.  When this diagnosis came, I knew in my heart that I needed to shift my focus to recovering, my family, and my home.  But as a business person, that was a hard conclusion to come to!  But I know that my energy needs to be focused on other things right now.  She assured me that when the time is right, I can come back and be the designer again.  : )  Thanks to everyone at TriCity for their love and support!

I got a visit tonight from one of my favorite missionary companions, Wanda.  She lives in Tridell (outside of Vernal) so I don't get to see her very often.  She is one of those friends that you can go forever without seeing, and then when you eventually catch up with each other, it's like you never lost touch!  We went out for something to eat and talked for a really long time.  The poor employees at Paradise Bakery were sweeping the crumbs under our feet and locking the doors long before we left!  She brought me a bag filled with cereal and snacks, head scarves and hats, warm fuzzy socks and other fun stuff.  She just has this way of bringing everything into perspective and making everything seem doable.  I love you, Wanda!  Thanks for taking time out of your weekend to come see me!